WELCOME, SEEKERS…

17.01.07

(Note:  The following information is for entertainment purposes only, and should only be incorporated into your training regimen under the strict supervision of your trainer, medical practitioner, teacher, guru or holistic navigator.  Neither Master Roshambollah nor the USARPS League will be held responsible if you are psychologically unable to cope with the stupefying levels of success you may experience as a result of this training program.)

As we begin a new year, I am given to reflect upon the last twelve months of Rock Paper Scissors (RPS.)  Last year undoubtedly saw more tournaments, more players, and more high profile RPS matches than any previous year.  Many of you are already aware of this, but instead of merely looking back (wistfully, nostalgically,) at the previous year, you are already looking forward to this year, and to the 2007 USARPS League season.  Very soon, you and thousands of other eager competitors will journey to the sacred arena of RPS competition.  Some of you may be competing for the first time; others will be returning to the League as seasoned veterans, seeking to improve upon last year’s successes (or failures.)  If there is any one factor that differentiates players who go home winners from players who just go home, it is one thing:  proper training.  That’s where I come in.

My name is Master Roshambollah.  Until my retirement in 2004 I was considered the Greatest Player in the History of the Sport ™.  My retirement is doubly good news for you, the aspiring player.  First, and most importantly, you won’t face the daunting prospect of meeting me in tournament competition.  Second, my retirement allows me to focus on building the players of tomorrow.  Since I won’t be competing myself, you can trust me to shoot from the hip, and give you the latest and best RPS training information.  During my decades of involvement in the sport, many times I was asked “Whose side are you on, Roshambollah?”  Quite simply, I am on the side of you, the professional and amateur RPS player.

For the next four weeks, my goal is to turn you into a well-oiled RPS machine.  Whether you are a beginner or a “salty dog,” you will find information here that you can use.  Remember:  the more you sweat in training, the less you bleed in competition.  And as one of my first RPS coaches, Uncle Jaguar, once told me, “If it ain’t rainin’, we ain’t trainin’.”

Many times, the best place to begin is at the beginning.  Let us devote this first week, therefore, to…

FOUNDATIONS

You do know how to play RPS, don’t you?  The basics are simple, and can be found elsewhere on this site.  Rock beats scissors, paper beats rock, and scissors beats paper, with each throw tying itself.  Throws are delivered on the count of four (it may help to chant “Ro – Sham – Bo – shoot!” if you have a hard time with this.)

You now know all you need in order to play RPS.  That was easy, wasn’t it?  To master these basic skills will require some time, perhaps the rest of your life.  To assist in this process, you first need to acquire what will become perhaps your most valuable tool as a RPS player:

THE TRAINING JOURNAL

Go out, forthwith, and procure an empty notebook or journal.  It need not be fancy or voluminous.  This journal, devoted exclusively to your RPS training, will function as a record of your accomplishments and a goad for future efforts.  You must enter into the journal a record of your daily drills, exercises, matches, and meditations.  If you fail to practice on a given day, you must enter this as well.  You do not need to keep a detail of every single throw you execute; this may detract from your development (time spent writing may better be spent playing.)  However, you should keep a general record of any RPS matches in which you compete (e.g., “My early matches today went well, but towards the end of the day, I lost more often than I won.”)  As you proceed with the training, you will undoubtedly have dreams related to the three throws or competitive RPS.  You must enter these dreams into your journal, but avoid analysis of dream content.  If you are not willing to take the basic step of keeping a training journal, I seriously doubt that you are willing to take the steps needed to become a RPS champion; perhaps you should stick with tic-tac-toe.

Note:  Many students will decorate the training journal, including, for instance, a personal motto on the cover (such as, “My will to succeed is greater than my fear of failure.”)  It is quite common for players in training to paste the image of a personal RPS hero on the front of the notebook.  My own stern image, easily downloaded from usarps.com, would make a stylish addition to any training log.

TRAINING – FIRST WEEK

For this first week, we’re going to take it easy.  In addition to competing in your local USARPS venue, you should begin playing casual “warm-up” matches of RPS with other individuals in your training group.  Go light this week; aim for no more than a dozen and no fewer than five matches a day.  Don’t worry about your win-loss record, either; the goal of this first week is primarily to shake off a little of the “rust.”  You should also focus on some basic drills.  I suggest that you practice pumping three times and executing each throw in sequence (i.e., pump three times and throw rock; pump three times and throw paper, etc.)  A full round of all three throws is a set.  Do at least a dozen sets a day, once or twice a day.  Remember:  form first, speed second.

Most serious RPS players incorporate weight training into their regimen.  Forget everything you’ve heard about RPS weight training, and instead focus primarily on one muscle group:  the biceps bracchi.  This may seem paradoxical; one seldom sees RPS champions with bulging biceps.  The reason for this is simple:  RPS players do not train for strength or size (excessive muscle size can lead to exaggerated “tells”); rather, they train for endurance.  It is hard to explain how exhausted one’s lower biceps become after an evening of RPS.  Hammer curls are the best exercise to train the biceps for RPS, though basic curls will also suffice.  To train for endurance, do one to three sets of 20 repetitions, with 60 seconds of rest between sets.  Though not necessary, you may wish to train the triceps in a similar manner (using, for instance, triceps pushdowns or kickbacks.)  The role of stretching, also, cannot be overestimated.  For more details on stretching and weight training, consult your trainer.

Finally, you should spend some time every day in meditation on the Three Noble Throws.  This is not a mystical process; this is a practical approach.  Seat yourself comfortably in whatever position you feel is best.  Relax your muscles, and focus on full, natural breaths.  When you are comfortable with this, begin by meditating on rock.  You may wish to form a throw of rock with your fists while meditating.  Imagine the hardness of rock, and the many forms that it takes, from granite to sandstone, and even molten lava.  Continue this process with paper and scissors.  Avoid mystical identification with the throws; that is not the point of this exercise.  After spending some time in contemplation of the three throws, return to the Pure Formless Void of the pre-throw, during the pump.  Stay here as long as you can.  The amount of time spent in this most valuable of exercises will vary from individual to individual, but surely half an hour a day is not too long.  Be sure to record the results in your training journal.

These exercises may seem simple, but persist!  By focusing your energies on the basics, you will become capable of virtually anything.  Next week I will return with more advanced training techniques as we “kick things up a notch” for the upcoming USARPS season.

The future of the Sport is in your hands. United, there is little we cannot do.

© 2007 Master Roshambollah